Tiger Woods crashed his car, and hasn't told us why.
Here's my completely made up hypothesis for what happened:
After spending a couple of weeks in Australia and China, his sleep schedule is all screwed up. So he was headed out at 2AM to find some lunch.
And because he'd done some driving on the wrong side of the road in Australia, he drifted way too far to the side of the road and clipped a fire hydrant.
We're heading home to Amherst about a week from now. I'm going to try hard not to "pull a Tiger"; I'll resist going on any middle-of-the-night why-can't-I-sleep Dorito runs.