Saturday, November 28, 2009

What Happened to Tiger

Tiger Woods crashed his car, and hasn't told us why.

Here's my completely made up hypothesis for what happened:

After spending a couple of weeks in Australia and China, his sleep schedule is all screwed up. So he was headed out at 2AM to find some lunch.

And because he'd done some driving on the wrong side of the road in Australia, he drifted way too far to the side of the road and clipped a fire hydrant.

We're heading home to Amherst about a week from now. I'm going to try hard not to "pull a Tiger"; I'll resist going on any middle-of-the-night why-can't-I-sleep Dorito runs.


Anonymous said...

He was cheating on his wife, she caught him, gave him a beat down, he got in the SUV while on prescription narcotics, and when she chased him with the golf club and started smashing in his window, he got distracted and hit the hydrant/tree.

Gavin Andresen said...

Sigh. I'm wrong again.

I suppose, rationally, I should be a little more cynical in the future, but I don't want to. I'm going to continue assuming that most stuff is "bad things happening to good people" rather than "karma is a bitch."